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150 bpm

Today we visited the, um, midwife. I will have Susan verify that. Anyhow, it is one of the baby checkups. I slept for about 1.5 hours, but I felt I really needed to go. Susan is carrying so much of the pregnancy, the least I can do is be there to support her however I can.

Anyhow, I was in the waiting room playing my DS when a nurse called for me. I was so happy! I knew something was happening!

I was right, we got to listen to our baby's heart! I don't think Susan noticed, through her tears, but I was tearing up as well. Beside discerning their heart from Susan's, we also heard them move! I am sure I can't imagine what emotions arise for Susan, but I think we've both beem in this semi-shocked mode, and, well, it just got real.

I am really, really happy about the facilities we have access to. The person Susan was seeing was authentic and shook my hand with both of theirs, so my first impression of them was warming.

I asked them about the cool-mist humidifier that I've been paranoid about, but my worries were resolved. It demonstrated to me that I've become over-protective, or maybe just protective, of Susan. And as with most things that I do in excess, it manifests itself humorously. ^_^

Oh, the title refers to our baby's heart rate. When I heard it I realized that I don't feel pride, or a sense of accomplishment, like I thought I would.

I felt utter humility. The universe is the place to be, this reality, right now! And I can't wait to meet the person I will share my life with!

We are truly blessed.

DUDE! I remember: I was 7, in a waiting room with my younger brother, and somebody called us to go in to look at our mom. There she was, propped up next to a machine, and we heard … A TRAIN. My brother and I fell down laughing. We were hysterical. The people were like, “that is your sister’s heartbeat!” and we were like “IT’S A TRAIN!” and we laughed and laughed. On the way home, my mom was like “??? Why were you laughing so hard?? Are you nervous??” hahaha. I think we were just shocked that a being’s heartbeat could be like DOODOODOODODODODODOOODODODOOOO and we were overwhelmed with … [some inarticulable emotion?] over hearing our sister for the first time. haha.

I have these really weirdly clear memories of playing with a hackey sack in that waiting room when my mom was pregnant. I didn’t know (and was too impatient to learn) how to kick it with my foot more than once in a row, so I played with it by throwing it in the air and catching it again (with my hands). haha.

Hooray for medical facilities and people-stuffs that make you feel warm and safe! I’m glad to hear it! Yay!

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