Another set of questions coming through the The Listserve.
Would you mind answering these very 22-year-old questions for me?
- What is your definition of love?
- I constantly wonder why we humans do things that make us so unhappy at times, even though we know we could die at any millisecond. How do you feel about this? How do you feel in general? What makes you happy?
(Psychologist wannabe over here…)- Favorite quote?
- Favorite song? (These rather large ears are desperate for new music.)
- My 23rd birthday is coming up…ish. How should I celebrate? How did you/others you know celebrate this mega milestone…not.
I like using these as prompts, so here goes!
- There is a lot of brain chemistry involved in how we feel and experience love, and I think that is almost completely discounted by the population at large. My theory is that it is not romantic, but science is spectacular and fantastic, and I think that if we focus on these interactions we can live more fulfilling lives. For instance, many people express love in terms of mitigating emotional pain. They fall into patterns and hold external factors accountable, whereas it would probably be useful to study their childhood and investigate how they were taught to share their feelings and empathize with others.
- I am generally content, most times. I have a very fortunate life, tempered by early life trauma. I am engaged in my work, and constantly help others, most of whom are working on social issues that help larger numbers of people. This is because I define my happiness by being in the service of others. I had to take care of my core needs first, and really it is an ongoing process of helping others and helping myself. But it is a fluid process now, a cycle, so it is fairly easy to maintain. As for why people discount the fact they could die at any moment, it is because humans have a difficult time attributing value in non-abstract ways. Death is a biggie, but so are crap foods, sedentary lifestyles, and ultimately, religion.
- The first quote that comes to mind is by Bertrand Russell, and while I can't remember it verbatim, the sentiment is something that I use to navigate people. Sometimes it is worth it to not recognize convention, and at times it is important to role-play as another person, to help someone.
- I posted about some music I started listening to lately, and currently my favorite song is Lost Generation, by Rizzle Kicks (the music video is decent).
- Here is some opinion, which seems conventional to me, but may be unconventional to our culture (as Californian-Americans): birthdays have no intrinsic meaning, outside of measuring averages for human development. I don't celebrate birthdays for a variety of reasons: it is stressful to get a person a gift when you are poor, it gives me an excuse to not cherish people as often as possible, it gives people a sense of worth, by only on one day (hint: today is your day, don't wait!), but most of all, I just don't care. Folks have their reasons for celebrating birthdays, but they don't make me care, so there is that.
That said, my 23rd birthday was a milestone for me: it was the first time I drank after my 21st birthday. I guess that is more commentary on how that event went. I don't drink anymore, but that is a whole big ol' post in and of itself. ^_^