Susan is beautiful and lovely. Just thought I’d start with that.
I haven’t written on a blog since June of last year. There are many reasons for that, but there are (conveniently) three big ones: I became scared of spouting stupid opinions, I got busy with work, and I split my personality.
I didn’t realize this fully until recently, but I got so tired and worn down by reading stupid things written by other people. Maybe listening, as well. See, I navigate reality by brute force and self-correction. I don’t have many trained guides for how I should act, so I constantly assess my behavior, and after years of exploring the internet I lost a sense of discretion in my own writing. Well, really talking about anything in any context. In trying to be less argumentative, I’ve lost a lot of my assertiveness.
Realizing this, and having gone from one extreme to the other, I now endeavor balance. So here come all my semi-stupid opinions!
I’ve been working pretty hard for the last couple of years. In that time I’ve rarely slept more than four hours at a time, and my working hours have been near total waking hours. Not a great place to be in for any amount of time. But I am slowing down.
Prior to this stretch I had never really made an effort to further my career, but becoming a parent changed a lot of gears in me. But my inexperience also gave me no points of reference, so I hadn’t realized how much I’d grown in that time. I wouldn’t say I am financially comfortable, but we did pay off our debt, and I’ve become a practical expert in various interesting and useful fields. Such serious business!
Recently I finished a stint as a CIO for a startup, and will be focusing more on webcraft, the art and science of making the web. I am looking forward to slowing down the processes I already have, and do more education and training. And of course writing a whole bunch more about it!
Like a banana, or horcruxes
During the aforementioned “serious business” episode, I started splitting off my personality/blog into separate sites that had specific functions. I’d link to them, but they will be gone within the month, so no need to populate this post with dead links. I had this idea that I needed to focus on specific topics, because that is good for social media marketing, and because I became less assertive and more business, I had the idea that I wanted to play that game. Ha! See how bad it got?!
So I will combining the site I used to talk serious business (and invoice from) with the blog I wanted to be vulnerable on, with the site where I geek out on technology, and finally with the place I get to be creative in non-apparent ways. And once the planets align, the reuniting of these elements will bring upon the golden age of… oh, wait, I am leaving one tangent aside, and that is pop culture/gaming stuff. The reason for it is that I essentially live-blog in long form when I play a game or watch something, and I feel that would dilute the frankly more important things I have to say here. So that will live on elsewhere (and I will link to it in a future post, as soon as I have it in a form that doesn’t embarrass me! ^_^).
standing alone in complexity
I am keeping the title of the site, as I feel it represents what I am doing here on the site, and here on the planet, more than ever. It comes from the idea behind the subtitle of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. A simplified explanation would be that we are individuals, stand alone people, arriving to the same conclusion and actions without apparent connection. Not a coincidence, but rather a tacit, subconscious connection that drives us collectively toward our future. We are each standing alone in complexity.