If you could leave my office right now, and run into your four-year-old self, knowing how much pain that four year old was in, what would you do? Hewitt will asks his patients. Often, the patient will say that they’d put their arms around the kid, and tell them they’re OK the way they are. But what do they actually do to themselves? Curse, swear, kick and scream. “That internal dialogue — ’I should have done this perfectly, I should be doing that, I’m horrible, I’m awful, I’m the most stupid,’ stuff like that — that represents that inner relationship with self,” Hewitt says.