No more Bawls

I drank a bottle of Bawls over 14 hours ago. I should have been asleep a few hours ago. Never doing that again.

When I was younger, I compensated for my over-thinking and sensitivity. I wore myself out in mind and body so I could rest, because if I don't, I can hear cars from afar, and people breathing in the apartment below me, and ice hardening in the freezer, and if nothing else, just a constant ringing in my ears from a deafening silence.

Now I listen to Susan and Clover breathing, or I think about how I will leverage my privilege to help someone today. I accept it, let it flow through me. I still use tea to blow the fuzz out of my brain, and I know that after three pots, I am really, really happy. But I can get to sleep before the sun rises on the next day, even after that much tea.

Energy drinks really mess me up. I'm okay with that. I'm okay without them.