It’s been getting some chatter in some communities I’m in. Some are saying “people are using this as an excuse, like ‘hey women, you do it too, so shut up about harassment!’” which is terrible because those people are also saying “hey we should all live in a world where everybody harasses everybody.” Which is not the world I want to live in. I’m mostly just sad.
I want to note that it’s not just male-ness that create the Ubers of the world: it’s also power. If we focus on gender exclusively when we look at these stories, we’re missing another huge pattern of abusive behavior coming from power imbalances.
I want to work on talking about these things and changing these norms. I want to come up with things I can do in my everyday life that will help. I don’t know what they are or how to talk yet, and I feel very sad about abuse.