Tonight we had "Beyond" burgers

Let me just start by saying it was a huge missed opportunity by not calling it “hypermeat”.


Beyond meat is plant-based, but I guess very good at being like normal meat, which when you think about it is kinda weird.

Dur, sorry, I told myself, “remember, maiki isn’t the target audience!”

I like puck-based food, as well as envelope-based and other “container” types. Give me your flat breads, your *roll, your burritos and pita pockets.

Because I don’t really like food, it is “form follows function”, the function in this case being to go in my mouth. :slight_smile:

Beyond meat is for people, I believe, who love meat but not the meat industry. I also don’t like that industry, so I can kinda grok it.

Does it deliver? Uh, we don’t know. Well, maybe.

We thought we were getting a typical veggie pattie burger deal, and Clover normally gets a meat burger but wanted a veggie burger this time. Susan got real meat burger (@susan, what did you think?).

The interesting part is: Clover took some convincing it wasn’t meat. E presumed they messed up the order, because it was convincing enough, and e’s eaten burgers in the last couple of months. But e is kinda young and habitually doesn’t know lots of stuff, so I don’t know.


To me it tasted like a “charbroiled” Burger King burger, which is debatable if that counts as real meat either. Also, I haven’t had a Burger King burger for at least 20 years or something. The texture is fairly “meaty”, which reinforces to me I’m not the target audience.

I want to express this in a way that doesn’t make others feel self-conscious, because I honestly 100 percent believe humans are omnivores. The idea of eating meat is weird.

Oh, I know what it’s like, and this might get kinda gross, we’re gonna talk about Halloween food jokes.

Okay, you get grapes for eyeballs, and… ya know, other stuff. I can’t recall at the moment… (@susan, you always have loads of these examples [I suspect e was a secret Halloween otaku growing up {which would have explained the timing of eir seducing me to time Clover’s birthday with Halloween} and knows all these by heart]) of things that we don’t normally eat, but, I don’t know, is probably okay to eat in a strictly, digests-normal-and-provides-nutrition sorta way.

To me, because of the abundance of puck- and other container-based foods, I’ve not had to think about eating flesh. It’s a golden time to be leaning on veggies! So eating a puck of plant made to look like a real pattie of ground-up animal flesh is like a bizarre Halloween display, mesmerizing in the moment and just a little horrid in hindsight.


I still have a have a hard time eating grapes after visiting my niece’s elementary school Halloween party (20 years ago) and stuck my hand a cloth covered bowl of wet eye balls so I get it. The other weird one was cauliflower brain in jello. Ewwwwww

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