I have a pretty good memory. I used to think that everyone remembered the way I did. I would get frustrated when I told someone something and they would forget the day or week or month afterwards. This is when I was younger, of course, and I have since come to understand that not only do people have different capacities of memory, but also different types or methods of memory.
I have something akin to an eidetic memory. It isn’t an extraordinary ability, but I can remember details that most other folks don’t seem to recall. I have a theory that folks remember things that hold interest to them. A close friend had a fascinating grasp of animal facts, able to recall behaviors, diets, trivia and other details about a wide range of creatures. She had no special training, no formal education in that sort of thing, but she really cared about animals. It taught me to look for the things that interests people, and I always find that people know a lot about their interests.
This, of course, makes a lot of sense. I think the reason I can recall some of the details that I do is because my general interests are sorta abstract and have to do with memory and communication. For instance, when a person says something to me I remember it, and can repeat it verbatim for days and weeks after. At this point I suspect my brain has better things to do, and I compress the meaning of the transfer and store it somewhere. I use that as a type of mnemonic device. I can later recall things by how I feel or sense.
To get to the point, I basically spent a lot of time alone as a child. Even when around others I was alone, because I was much younger than my parents, obviously, and also older than my siblings who were born in nearly consecutive years (five kids in seven years). It was a rough childhood for me, and I reacted by becoming more and more introverted. I recall—and this is important—thinking a lot about thinking. So, I also remembered a lot about memory.
maiki, what the hell are you talking about?
Today I went down to San Jose on business. As I sat at my table on the train I noticed a trio of passengers across from me, a couple of kids and apparently their grandmother. I also noticed that one of the kids had a Nintendo DS on the table in front of them. I immediately inquired as to what game they had in it, to which she timidly replied, “Mario Party.”
“Cool! Do you want to play? I have Mario Party, too. I play it all the time!”
After a few short exchanges, the little girl (who I found out was eight) deferred to her brother (who was twelve going on thirteen) to play with the weird scruffy guy across the aisle. He moved over to my side of the train, which surprised me a bit. I was expecting him to stay over next to his stuff since the DSes were well within range of each other. After a few moments his sister moved over as well to watch the action and tell me all about how Toad was her favorite and how she knows how much all the stars cost.
We played for an hour, and while I don’t think we are best buds or anything (I didn’t actually ask their names), by the end of the game all three of us were talking smack and making fun of each other and Wario (why does he do such stupid things?). I had a really enjoyable time! I felt like…
I was thirteen.
I felt a gurgling feeling in my stomach, the kind I used to get when I would meet new people. I felt confident, knowing that I was way cool to have won the game with twice as many stars as the other guy. And I felt high from the acknowledgment he gave me in the form of uttering “good game”.
There was some idle chit chat after the game. The girl was reading James and the Giant Peach. The boy was reading/finishing Book One of the Ranger’s Apprentice series. I talked to grandma about Amtrak. And then we went our separate ways.
However, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the feelings and memories the experience had induced. I habitually talk about things like information architecture and non-monogamy relationship models. But for that train ride I neither knew nor cared about those things. Abstract ideas gave way to anxieties and emotion.
I was thirteen. 